Could It Be Magic?

I thought this blog could use a little bit of cheese today...........

I love anything that has to do with England. I must have been British Royalty in a former laugh, I mean life. I am a huge Take That fan, well, I still like them even though Robbie and Jason are gone but that is an argument for another day, so take that. 

When I was visiting London in the summer of 2014 I looked fine on the outside but inside my heart was breaking. When I am going through emotional turmoil that is when I seem to see things more clearly. I was thinking of the lamp posts type lights that were at a type of intersection on the street that I was staying on in West London. Below is a picture of the front of the Bed & Breakfast. 

It is the black and white poles with those lights at the top. What is the official name for this type of light? Is it called a street lamp? Not sure. At night and during the day they flash when a car comes near them and they make a type of buzzing sound as well. I have a great memory associated with those lights. 

At night, at about 2am I would sit on the front steps of this establishment and I would smoke a cigarette. Those lights would blink if I can remember correctly and sometimes not, but they did make a slight buzzing sound when vehicles approached and the lights blinked. Anyway, I would sit on the steps, listen those lights, listen to the traffic whooshing by and I would hear the thump, thump of the tires of an approaching vehicle. It was like the city had a pulse and this radiating energy that I could feel, see and hear. I want to write a short story about it but not sure of the direction yet. 

 

My 40th Year

This year has been the most interesting year of my life. As a younger woman I always wondered who I would be and where I would be at the age of 40. When I was 20 that number was so far away and seemed so old. Now that I am here I don't think that way anymore. 

My beloved grandmother died March 16, 2014 a few months before my 40th birthday. I was with her when she died and it was the most raw, uncensored moment of my life. I watched her take her last breath and it changed me. It changed me. Watching her in those final moments made me realize how we take life for granted because no one  is promised tomorrow. 

As I was trying to navigate the grief I was feeling over the loss of my grandmother, my marriage deteriorated. My marriage was already on shaky ground and then it broke into a million pieces. I remember last year at this time it was all I could do to make it through the day. I would stand in my shower at night and sob so my kids couldn't hear me because it was so hard to maintain my everyday interaction with people. My mom had moved in with us a few days before the shit hit the fan and she has stayed with me throughout this whole ordeal.  

There is a bright light in this tunnel. Last summer when I went to London, England, I really started to find myself again. I needed to learn what it was like to depend on myself again and enjoy my own company. As a young girl I dreamed of going to London and in my mind I always imagined I would travel there alone and I did. My friend Tracy was really impressed by me traveling alone, but I have always marched to the beat of my own drummer. I'm a leader, not a follower. 

I have had the opportunity to visit so many different places this past year. I have been to England, France, Detroit, Michigan, Atlanta, Georgia, Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina and North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I have traveled to each of these wonderful places and experienced them unencumbered . It feels great to be trying new things and finding that "new me". 

All in all I am trying to say that I have grown so much in my 40th year. I have lost and had a lot of negative things happen, but it has not stopped me from moving forward and discovering life the way I want to live it. My children, family and friends are my anchor and without them I don't think I could have made it. I am also very happy now and I knew I could be if I just took a chance and stopped being scared. So many times in life we let fear hold us back and I am living proof that sometimes you just gotta grab life by the tail and show it who is boss!

Coming Home

**Start at the beginning: Part 1 London, England

I left London, England on Saturday July 19, 2014 and I was ready. I really loved the city and I could picture myself living there one day. I joked with everyone how if I didn't have children I think I would have stayed, but my kids will grown in no time and I just might go abroad and live for a while.

In all my other posts I only mentioned once how I was off the grid. What I mean is that when I left Georgia I cut off the data on my phone. Nobody could reach me unless they called the "hotel" that I was staying at. My best friend called me early Thursday morning and told me "Don't think just because you fly half way across the world I can't find you"! It was great to hear her voice. I do admit by Thursday I was getting a bit homesick and the staff where I was staying helped me out by getting an international calling card and letting me use their personal cell phone.

It was fun being off the grid for a week. My family knew where I was, they had the phone numbers and my brother knows a few people that actually live in England. I felt safe where I was staying and London is the most surveilled city on the planet. There are CCTV signs everywhere.

On my way back to the states I sat beside a man that lived in Virginia but was originally from Australia. I can't remember his name, but he was very friendly and we chit chatted a little bit on the flight back to America. I kid you not, when that plane landed in Detroit, Michigan as soon as I got off the plane I cut the mobile data back on and my cell phone started going crazy......bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. It was the best sound in the world. Why everyone had tried to message me when they knew my data would be off is beyond me, but I could feel the love.

I went through customs in Detroit and that was interesting. One of the employees was barking at some woman to cut off her cell phone while she was in line. He was being a bit of an ass but that is just my opinion. Authority doesn't suit everyone. Anyway, I took my picture at one of those airport kiosk things and gave it to the person at customs when I went through and declared I had key chains and shot glasses. LOL. They said that was okay and let me through. I found my next gate and sat down and called a few people.

The first person I called was my estranged husband. I thanked him for sending me on the trip for my fortieth birthday. I told him something else that day......I told him I wish he could have been there with me, and he placated me with saying he wish he could have been there too. He was with me though, so were my family and so were my friends. I carried all of them in my heart.

By now, I am ready to board the flight to Raleigh, NC so I can go home.I get to sit by the emergency exit and I end up sitting with a man named Bill. The best part about talking with him is that I found out his daughter has Asperger's. For those of you that don't know, Asperger's is a form of autism. Please do not misunderstand me I am no expert on autism. But we bonded over this because my youngest son is on the autism spectrum. We talked about how it was when we heard the diagnosis, and how it is for our children now. He told me his daughter goes to college and still lives at home but she drives and she is moving towards being more independent by living on her own eventually. I told him how my son can pick up on the emotional undertones of what people are saying and how he builds these intricate toys  out of pipe cleaners. I found out that Bill works in the same town that I do and I told him he should stop by and we would have lunch sometime. I am so happy that I met him.

We finally made it to Raleigh and after getting off the plane I look through the crowd and spot my brother and my nephew and I hugged them and told them I was happy to see them. They asked me about my trip and asked me what I wanted to do first. I told them to take me to the store so I could buy a pack of Marlboro Lights and take me somewhere, anywhere to get a glass or glasses of sweet, iced tea. They took me to a pizza joint in Raleigh and the first thing I did was suck down 3 big glasses of sweet tea. I know, I know, I just left London and there was tea everywhere, but not like we make here at home in North Carolina.

London, Part 8

**Start at the beginning: Part 1 London, England

This will be the last post in my series of London, England.  I hate to see it come to an end. I had such a wonderful time exploring the city of London and meeting new people.

One of the most interesting aspects of riding the tube are the street musicians. At different tube locations, there are people that play music there. The acoustics underground are phenomenal. One day I heard a guy playing some classic Pink Floyd and it sounded great. I wanted to stop and listen but I didn't because I was just following the rush of people trying to reach their next destination. When I go back I will definitely take the time to stop and listen.

Friday, before I left, I stopped at a Pub. The pub that I stopped at was the one that I originally stopped at to get directions the first day that I arrived in the city. The architecture of the inside of the pub was beautiful. I had fish and chips with London  Pride Ale. Very Good and the staff was super helpful. The name of the pub was The Castle - Victoria Road, North Acton W3 6UL, United Kingdom.

             This is the inside of the pub, The Castle - Victoria Road, North Acton, London, England.

            This beer was the best beer!! It was warm and I had a few and then stumbled to the bus.

                                 Classic fish and chips that I had at The Castle in London, England.

All in all I took a lot away from my trip to London last summer. I learned that the world is bigger than my back yard (thank you Dorothy Gail...lol) and life is bigger than any problem I will ever face.  I traveled alone to one of the biggest cities in the world, flew in several airplanes for the first time at the age of 40 and got lost everyday while I was in London. That is the beauty in it though. Not taking the beaten path and stepping out of my comfort zone to discover life outside of what I perceive to be my own.

Continue... Coming Home

London, Part 7

**Start at the beginning: Part 1 London, England

I have shown pictures of my visit to London, so now I want to share some of the experiences I had while I was visiting...........................................

The week that I went to London there was a heat wave. If I am not mistaken, it was about 85 or 90 degrees mid week. One day while I was on the tube a woman passed out from the heat, the incident even made it on the local news. I was very surprised to learn that there is no air conditioning in the city. The reason for that is because it never gets that hot there.

Late in the week, I was wandering around the city and came across a small shop. This specialty store sold all kinds of drinks and teas and such. I asked for a cup of ice and the owner tried to sell me everything but that. I told him all I really wanted was a cup of ice and he said it would be fifty pence. At that moment I wouldn't have cared if he charged me a pound because it was so hot outside. He begrudgingly made me the ice and I could tell he was mad. So, when he handed me the cup of ice, I looked him in the eyes and told him thank you, and I was being very sincere. He looked at me and I could visibly see him soften.

One of the coolest guys (blokes) I met was named Desmond. I met him one day after I had been to the pub and drank a few beers. He was sitting at the bus stop and had this huge patch over his eye. He actually started a conversation with me telling me he had a stye removed from his eye. And being that I was slightly buzzing I started telling him how nobody would talk to me and how I was from America. He responded that he loved America and I really needed to get outside the city because the people were friendlier. I told him how some of the locals were great about giving directions when I had gotten lost. I had the best chat with Desmond. We talked about driving, public transportation, visiting America, car insurance in England, and so much more. I even told him about being from the South and it was just a great conversation. Right before we got to my stop, I told him that I was so happy that I met him and had a great time talking to him.

Another day that week, I went to all the museums. In one of the museums there was a long table in the middle of the room. There were pictures down both sides of the table of a woman and a man from birth to death and the different kinds of medication that they took. I guess the take on the exhibit was how pharmaceuticals affect our lives. This piece of art was so profound it brought me to tears!! That has never happened to me before. I tried to take a picture of it but it didn't turn out, but it will be forever etched into my heart and mind.

Another interesting bit of information is there are two buses with the number 266. One is bus 266 to Hammersmith the second is bus 266 to Brent Cross. I kept getting on the 266 to Brent Cross. Whenever I got on that bus we would ride all over West London. It was amazing!!! There were areas of neighborhoods that reminded me of the smells you smell at the fair because there were so many different types of eating establishments. In one neighborhood, there could be Chinese food, Thai food, American fried chicken, Indian food and anything in between. There were people bustling around up and down the streets going about their daily activities. By the end of the week, I realized I could get to the guest house much quicker if I took the bus 266 to Hammersmith; thirty minutes as opposed to three hours on the other bus.

Another great thing about the public transportation system in England is that when elderly, pregnant women or a mom pushing a baby stroller got on the bus or the tube, people would actually give up their seat to these people. I thought that was awesome.

I saw some very handsome men while I was there also. They were dressed very smart, and the women were too. Especially those that worked around Parliament. I have never seen so many men wearing skinny pants, and actually look good wearing them.

Tomorrow, I will wrap up my trip to London on the blog. Please leave me some comments and let me know how you like the pictures or what do you think of what I have written. Thanks. 


Continue.. London: Part 8

London, Part 6

**Start at the beginning: Part 1 London, England

The next day I saw the great Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben and the London Eye. For this post I am just going to show some of the pictures that I took while I was there. On the days that I was doing all the sight seeing I did not interact much with the locals. On occasion when I did get lost, the locals were always awesome about helping me out and pointing me in the right direction.

I seemed to stumble upon most of the sights that I found. Saint Paul's Cathedral was gorgeous.

This is actually art that I was allowed to take a picture of in the Tate Modern.

Big Ben and The London Eye in the background.

 Westminster Abbey

My absolute favorite Buckingham Palace. I got to see the changing of the guard, so I got there at the perfect time to see it.


Continue to London: Part 7

London, Part 5

**Start at the beginning: Part 1 London, England

Due to the drastic change in time, I only slept about 4 hours. I got up and went outside and was able to smell the cool night air and just contemplate how far I had traveled. I was in England and so excited and couldn't wait for the morning when I could go explore.

I started out early that morning at about 9 a.m. I was told I should give everyone time to get to work before getting on the tube. The first thing I did was try to follow the map to no avail. Everything is spread out more than I expected. I do believe I walked a country mile. As I was walking I came across Tower Bridge. I just kind of stumbled across it and it was a beautiful sight.

I walked around so much that day and saw so many historical sights and it was amazing. That day I also walked across the Millennium Bridge and at different intervals of the bridge there were people cooking peanuts. The smell of the peanuts, the warm sunshine and the music you could hear while walking down to the Tate Modern Museum was electric. I can close my eyes and immediately I am taken back to that amazing day in London and I swear I left a part of my heart there.

To Be Continued.......................London: Part 6

London, Part 4

**Start at the beginning: Part 1 London, England

I landed at London Heathrow Airport at about 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I immediately get off the plane and begin trying to navigate the airport. I was a little nervous going through customs, but it wasn't so bad. I went up to a desk when I was called and the guy at the customs desk asked me what brought me to England. I told him I was there to celebrate my birthday. He asked me what I did on my birthday and I deadpanned that I packed for my trip. He gave me a look that said you are pathetic and stamped my passport and I was let through. As tired as I was, my excitement couldn't be contained. I was wandering around the airport when I was spotted by an employee. He called me "love" which totally made me turn into a puddle of goo. Can you believe his name was James? He asked me did I need any help and I told him I was a bit overwhelmed because this was my first time flying and I wasn't exactly sure how I needed to get to my hotel.

James asked me what had brought me to the country and I proceeded to burst into tears all over him, a complete stranger, but I couldn't help myself. He didn't look shocked or upset that I was crying all over him. I told him of my troubles and he listened with a kind ear. I explained to him how my marriage had just dissolved and I needed to get away. I told him the kicker was my husband had paid for the trip. Then he told me how his ex-wife had left him, but now he was happy and with someone new. He too, restored my faith in humanity with his kindness. He told me some of the great places to visit while in London and I bid him farewell. Did I tell you he called me "love"?!

After my meeting with James, I found an Oyster Card and loaded it and hopped on the tube. Riding "the tube" in London is quite an experience. For those of you that don't know, "the tube" is what we Americans refer to as the subway. The people do not talk to each other unless they get on the tube together. It is so quiet on the tube sometimes I swear you can hear a pin drop, and that is no lie. Everyone has their head phones on, or they are playing with their phones or reading a magazine. That was a bit of a culture shock for me. The reason for that is being from the South Eastern part of the United States we say "hey" to everybody and I had never been to the big city before.

(Pic of inside of car on tube)

After a bit, I get off in Acton so I can find the place where I would be staying. Do you know what I did? I wandered around West London for a couple of hours trying to figure out the public transport and where I needed to go. I knew that I needed to get on bus 266 to get to the London Guesthouse. I know I walked around in a freaking circle for an hour. I was tired, hungry, frustrated and I just needed to have a good cry. So, in rush hour traffic, at about 7 pm in the evening, I found myself standing on the roadside in West London, spinning around in a circle. So I plopped down on the ground and just cried my eyes out, read my map and then headed to the nearest pub. I knew where ever there is beer there are happy people and they would help me.

The bartenders at the pub showed me where to go to get on the bus. I, of course, got on the wrong bus, and after I realized it, got off that bus and got on the right bus, number 266. I finally made it to the London Guesthouse at almost 9 pm that night. I have never been so happy to see a building in my life that I recognized. I burst into tears as soon as I walked in, and the staff there was amazing. I told them about all my issues with the flights, and how I got lost, and they took mercy upon me. They said "This is your first time flying, and you chose to come to one of the biggest cities in the world?" I said "Yep". The owner looked at me and said " Here is your room key, you go rest and we will settle your bill in the morning". I gave him my most sincerest thank you, went to my room, took a shower and went straight to bed.

                                                 (Sign for London Guest House)


London:Part 5

London Part 3

**Start at the beginning: Part 1 London, England

I goofed around at the Charles de Gaulle airport in France and finally it was time to board the plane to go to London, England! Once again, this was one of those small commuter planes, and the flight was a short one.

On this particular flight, I sat with a couple that only spoke French. When I first boarded the plane and walked to my seat, there they sat and were speaking with a flight attendant. The couple started to speak to me and I could gather they wanted to switch seats with me. I was just smiling and nodding and then I looked at the flight attendant and said I don't speak French but I will sit by the window, I have no problem with that. So we all smiled at each other and I sat at the window. The flight attendant didn't speak a lot of English, but oh well. They were all very nice and pleasant.

Picture in your mind, within a 24 hour period been on three flights! In my mind, technically I time traveled because time jumped 5 hours ahead for me. I left home Sunday, July 13, 2014 at 9 am and it is now Monday, July 14, 2014 around 2pm when I board the flight to London. I leaned my head against the window for a brief moment and dozed off.

Then when I open my eyes this is what I see.........

 The skyline doesn't quite look like Eastenders but it's close....

Oh my God, I am flying above London, England, and I can't wait to get on the ground to explore.

My first impression was it looks kind of brown. As you can see in the photo, the river Thames is winding through the city.

I'm so excited.....I feel like a kid at Christmas.





Continue London: Part 4

London Part 2

**Start at the beginning: Part 1 London, England

As the plane began it's ascent I relaxed and chatted with James a bit. Not much though, I did not want to be one of those annoying airplane people that talked non-stop.

Before we could make it to Atlanta, the pilot announced there was bad weather so we had to fly around for a bit. So after about an hour of trying to avoid rain and some heavy wind, we had to land at some obscure airport in Georgia and refuel which took about an hour. James was laughing at me when I told him I was a first time flyer and he said "they were breaking me in right".

By the time I made it to Atlanta International, I had missed my flight and Delta had booked me on a flight to Paris to catch a connecting flight to London. Of course, being new to the intracacies of flying and navigating airports I was like a flounder out of water. I missed the flight and then had to run all the way across the airport only to miss the next flight also. So, I went up to the help desk of a flight that was leaving for London and had my brother calling Delta airlines to fix the problem.

After a lot of waiting around I finally was booked for a flight to Paris and was to leave Atlanta at 10 pm that night. Once again, I texted everyone and let them know before I got on the plane I was cutting off the data on my phone because I couldn't use it in Europe. I gave my family the number to where I would be staying and got on the plane.

I sat in the middle section of a Boeing 747. I wish I could draw a diagram. There are two window seats, then three seats in the middle, and then two more window seats in a row. I was in the middle on the outside, so it was like, person-emptyseat-me. If that makes any sense. This flight they were speaking in French over the PA system and English. The pilot on this flight was a woman to, which I thought was pretty cool. Being on this huge plane was a bit scary but I was excited to be getting a layover in Paris, France. 

On the flight to Paris I met a lady named Ms. Kim. She was Japanese and spoke fluent Japanese and German but very little English. She was the most interesting person that I met in my travels. There was a bit of a language barrier but I understood her to say she just left her daughter who had graduated from John Hopkins University and was now an oncologist at St. Jude's. She showed me pictures of the graduation and of her daughter and she was so proud. I told her my children were younger, and we chit chatted as best we could. She told me she was on her way back to Germany because that is where she lived. I told her I was going to London for vacation and to celebrate my birthday. When we landed in Paris, she actually hugged me goodbye and I told her it was nice meeting her. She restored my faith in humanity with her kindness.

Finally we landed in Paris, France at around lunchtime I think. I had to go through security and no one was speaking any English which was kind of disorienting because I wasn't sure what I was doing. I saw a lot of different cultures whilst going through security. The guy checking passports and stuff at the security check point was cute but he was being a bit of a jerk to some of the people. Like he got some kind of perverse pleasure out of harassing people for their passports and stuff. He made me feel kind of uncomfortable but maybe it was lack of sleep. It's hard to sleep on a big ass plane knowing you are flying over the Atlantic Ocean.

TO BE CONTINUED......................................London: Part 3

London, England

Last summer I traveled to Europe and it was the most amazing experience. I always wanted to visit England since I was a little girl and I finally got the chance. I had never been on a plane, never been out of the country and especially never thought I would take such a trip alone, but that is what I did. I was really out of my comfort zone, but I loved/lived every moment of it.

I figured this week I would give the people who read my blog posts through my friend Ginny's blog a break and talk about something upbeat and positive for a change.

On July 12, 2014 I turned 40 years old. The next day I left home at around 9 am and went to my parent's home, left my vehicle, and my brother Donnie drove me to the airport in Raleigh, N.C. Now, granted I had never been on a plane before and I was trying NOT to think about plane crashes, so I busied myself with making sure I had everything packed and I was texting friends and family letting them know that once I made it to Georgia, I would be cutting off my data on my phone and go off the grid for the entire week. I was going ghost and I was SO looking forward to that.

I had a slight case of the nerves, because my brother dropped me off and I was on my own. A woman on a mission......to conquer my fears and try something new. After waiting around for about an hour or so it was time to get on the plane. So, I made my way and found my window seat. I sat beside a man named James on this particular flight and I was secretly wondering if I looked like a first time flyer. We really only spoke small pleasantries before take-off, everyone seemed a bit on edge or maybe it was just me.

Before the plane took off I began to get a bit misty, thinking of family and friends, and of the pain I was trying to leave behind. Then the plane began to move down the runway and I felt invincible almost, like nothing could touch me. I could feel the hummmmm of the engine, the announcements from the flight attendants, the air from the air conditioning, and I was about to soar.....Do you know what I did? I put my nose to the glass and I had my eyes wide open.....I was thinking to myself ...BRING IT WORLD..... Nothing can touch me now.

A few tears did escape when we got up in the sky because it was the most beautiful scene my eyes have had the pleasure to see. My beloved North Carolina, my home, below me and it looked spectacular. Everything was a miniature version of itself. The vehicles looked like toy cars and the buildings did also. I began to relax and enjoy the ride, after all I was on my way to Georgia for my connecting flight.





TO BE CONTINUED.....................................London, England: Part 2