Wednesday, February 8, 2017

The Results

Phase 3: The Results

Never in my Life was I so conflicted about opening a download!  All of the emotions were flowing in at once.. how would I feel if the results were that my husband had a daughter we never knew about until now?  How would I feel if she wasn't his?  This journey has been so much of an emotional roller coaster that I didn't even now if I wanted to know the answer; but I knew I had to suck it up and face this head on!

My husband was able to see the results first and then he turned it to show me...

The emotion roller coaster then shifted direction to a whole new direction of thoughts, questions, and even anger and disappointment!  It was like a train had hit me that I just wasn't ready for!  He IS the father!

How could this be?  I mean, I know protection isn't 100% but the chances are rare!  How could the mother not handle this sooner?  He has missed out on so much of her life, watching her grow up into the woman she has become and missing the biggest days of her life.. all the small moments, her graduation, and even her wedding a few months ago!!  How do we explain this to our youngest daughter and tell both of our girls they have a sister?  What will our family and friends think and how many questions will we have to answer?  How will she handle it, knowing the man who she calls dad, isn't by blood?  How hurt will that man be when he is told?  This is so unfair in so many perspectives, but what will the future of this look like?  Hoping it is a good and positive transition for us all!

With all of these emotions flowing I knew we needed a moment to get them under control so I decided to take the dog out and have a cigarette.  I knew he probably needed a few minutes to get his thoughts together and I knew I sure did before we had to sit our girls down for that dreadful conversation, while hoping for the best outcome!!

Phase 4:  The Conversation