Sunday, October 11, 2015

Do you teach your lil Girls to fight?

My husband and I differ when it comes to this question.. Somewhat!  I believe that lil' girls are supposed to act like lil' ladies and not be fighting; however, my husband's motto is "If someone hits you, you BETTER hit them back".

I agree with his motto, somewhat, but I don't want my daughter thinking she needs to whop someone ever time they barely touch her!!  She doesn't quite understand the differences and I don't want her getting into trouble at school; however, I don't want her to let people run all over her either!!

She has a few friends that she loves, but after a little time together they bicker & argue, and have even passed a few licks along the way growing up.  This is one reason why I'm against my husbands motto, mostly because they have been told all these years to tell the parent or adult & they would handle things.

This year she is at the Middle School, the time when girls like to pick their groups and try to be mean & bully each other, somewhat!  You know the age!!  As a women, I remember those years, and I hated them!!

Some of these girls (one in particular) likes to push my daughters buttons, big time!  This was the main reasoning behind my husband telling her that if she didn't hit someone back that she'd be in trouble when she got home.  I disagreed for the reasons I already stated, and because I want her to handle issues differently!

A few weekends ago she went to stay with her friend, you know the one that they bicker and have hit each other previously.  Well.. when I went to pick her up, I got a surprise!  Her mom and I had a talk because there were  some licks thrown!  (OMGosh, so embarrassing)  According to what I was told, her child hit mine, she said by accident (however, her mom believed it was on purpose) and what does mine do.... She hauls off and knocks the crap out of her... exactly what my husband told her to do!  Not Funny!!

I understand why he told her this.  He doesn't want her to be pushed around; neither do I, but there has to be a balance.  She doesn't understand when to do what because of some processing issues.  This is what scares me.

When I came home and told my husband what had happened, he explained to my daughter better what he was saying (which probably didn't help) and told he in cases like that she should have told her mom or the adult present.  After she left the room, he turned to me and said "I bet she doesn't put her hands on our child again".  When I asked him why he said that, he said that she knew that if she hit her she'd be hit back!!  Maybe, I don't know.

This week the kids were out of school on Friday.  My daughter went out with this little girl and her family, and then spent the night.  When I went to pick her up, her friend came back to spend the night here.  The were starting to bicker & argue because they'd been together too long; but everything settled itself.. no hitting.  She then went back home with her and stayed last night.. still no physical contact.  There has been many weekends since the hitting that they have stayed together and nothing else has happened.  Was my husband right?

I'm on the fence when it comes to teaching our lil' girls to fight, but I do want her to stand up for herself when it matters; and I guess sometimes it shows others that we're not gonna take it.

What do you think..  Do you teach your lil' Girls to fight?  Why/Why Not?