Thursday, March 5, 2015

Unloading

There is an old saying that I have always heard and it might not make much sense to anyone unless they have heard it.....I fell like getting drunk and telling everybody what I think. That is the saying, so instead of getting drunk and telling everybody what I think, I am just going to blog about it.

First, I am so sick of this divorce. I will be sooooooo glad when I can  be finished with the likes of him. He is so freaking mean to me....this is nothing new, he has talked crap to me for years. But I have been so stupid, oh he loves me I would tell myself....lies all of it nothing but a pack of lies. There are so many emotions that go along with going through a divorce. I swear some days I can run the spectrum from crying to ecstatic to pissed off devil from hell. Why does this have to be so damn hard? He will come by tonight and get the rest of his crap, he wants to act like I have been holding his possessions hostage. He would not one time come and help me clean out that storage unit. I had to lug all that stuff to my house and then go through 30 garbage bags and a ton of boxes and sort it out. But I'm holding his stuff hostage?! And his new love has no idea who he really is. I have a lot to say to her. She is such a stupid girl. She doesn't know how he will sneak around behind her back and talk to other women. She doesn't know that when he gets bored with her, he will start talking down to her, so she feels like she is worthless because he has to make her feel like nothing because he knows that running around is wrong. But he will do it when he drinks, that way there is an excuse for his behavior. Doesn't she see, no she doesn't....he told me once not too long ago that she was jealous of me. Can you believe that? She will always be jealous of me because she got him by default, I told him to leave our marital home and he went straight to her. When she got him he was cheating on me with her...what does she expect?

The great thing about all this crazy emotion is that I will come out clean on the other side. There has to be something really great for me out there in the world or all this pain and negativity would be for nothing. I know I am better off without him, I know I am strong, I know I am worthy of finding someone that will love me when the chips are down!!! I deserve that.