Monday, March 9, 2015

Winter Blues

So recently I have been a bit.....unleashed maybe. I have needed an outlet for all my crazy emotions and instead of calling my friends or family I have been typing it all in this blog.

Tomorrow will be March 10, 2015 and it is an anniversary for me. It would have been my 9th wedding anniversary and naturally I am feeling sad, relieved and misguided. I saw my ex a few days ago and as I stood there listening to him ramble on about something I was really looking at him. Studying his face, hair, his body and the inflection of his words as he spoke. I remember standing there feeling numb....not feeling anything....realizing I don't really know him at all or anymore. I hate this, I hate the way I can see this going, one day he will be like a total stranger to me and we will exchange the usual pleasantries and go on about our lives as if nothing ever happened.

This past year of my life has been about letting go. I had to let go of my Granny when she passed, I'm having to let go of a man that I truly loved, and I have had to do all this for my own personal sanity. I don't know how long it will take me to get over all this but Spring is in the air and I am very optimistic. There will be cook outs, beach trips, and warm weather. The winter always does kind of bring me down.