Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Parenting Fails

We all hear stories about someone who has made an epic parenting mistake. Take this picture up above.....The mother is wearing a shirt that states "I like it against the wall" which clearly has sexual innuendo and yet she seems oblivious to the negative connotation but whatever, to each his own.

Anyway, I have committed an epic parenting fail. I see where I went wrong in hindsight. My oldest son is 14 and very belligerent at times....he is a teenager. He has informed me of several decisions that he has made for his life. I am in support of them all, he is his own person. And this is where the judgment shall come. This is where you will see where I went he does and says things for shock value sometimes but I don't know what to say to this. 

My son informed me he is an atheist. Giving him a spanking is not going to fix this, yelling and screaming is not going to work either. I am the worst Christian on the planet, church has been more of a revolving door for me through out my life. I have spurts where I go and then stop. I cannot argue someone down with scripture because I don't know it like I should. I have failed my son. I tell him, and I would tell anybody else the same, religion holds no logic that is why we have to have faith. What I am trying to say is that there are some things our puny brains cannot comprehend and I think God is one of them. There are things in this world we are not meant to understand. I do believe in Jesus Christ and I do believe he is my personal savior. What do I do? How do change someone's mind when it seems to be made up? All I can think to do is pray.

My childhood sucked. I had my butt beat on the regular by my stepmother. I was afraid of her and I respected her out of that fear. People say that children these days have no respect but I heard that when I was a child as well. Does this non-belief come from a place of disrespect? I wanted to raise my children different, I did not want them to fear me or be scared to come home like I was as a child. I was beat with switches, fly swatters, bed slats, whatever she could get her hands on in a fit of rage. She told me and my siblings we were nothing. I struggled for so many years even after I escaped to really believe that I was worth something. What have I done to my child for him to believe there is nothing after we die? If I make a big deal out of it, he could possibly make it his mission in life to torment me with this information. 

He has been hanging around two kids. One of the boys is a Christian and the other boy is an Atheist. That is awesome to me that he would be friends with two people that are totally opposite of each other. He didn't really start talking this mess until he was hanging around with the kid that doesn't believe. It is funny, kind of, I have told myself for years that it didn't matter what my children grew up to do, or what they believed in. I assumed we would be like flash.....that's not gonna happen. Maybe this is just a phase or something. Maybe he is trying to push my buttons to get a rise out of me?! What am I as a parent to do? My best guess is to love him unconditionally! 

I haven't told his father yet. His father has it in his head that he wants him to be a preacher. That is not what my son wants at all. He is going to join the military as soon as he graduates high school. His dad is very religious and takes him to church ever Sunday morning and Sunday night. Anytime there are activities at the church he carries our son. His dad is a bit boderline obsessive with it but I can't fault anybody for their religion or lack there of. Maybe the problem is me and my intolerance?...Not sure.