Monday, July 20, 2015

Choices




I had a conversation with an old friend this weekend. We got into a debate about whether being gay is a choice or if you are born that way. He thinks it is a choice and I think you are born that way. 

The argument he presented was well articulated and it made sense. I have been thinking about it all weekend. I told him the story of my brother and I told him I knew my brother was gay when I was eight and he was six. My friend asked me how I knew this and I told him it was the way my brother carried himself even at that young age, I knew something was different. I have even said this to my brother and he was not offended that I used the word "different". 

My friend's argument was that life is all about choice. You choose the life that you lead basically. Isn't that from Hamlet? The choices you make dictate the life that you lead. Mmmmm? A thought to ponder this Monday morning. My friend's argument was that you choose to be passive or aggressive, dominant or submissive, you choose to date who you date, you choose to lie, or to tell the truth and so on.

I am no expert on this topic, I just love someone that happens to be gay. Being gay does not define who he is as a man though, like being straight does not define me as a woman. I am many things, or I wear many hats. I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend, lover, paralegal, mechanic, a dreamer, a doer, and woman. All those things embody who I am as a person just like he is more than a gay man to me. He is a brother, friend, teacher, confidante, uncle, quilter, and designer. All those things embody who he is a man.