Monday, May 23, 2016

Chest Pains

My chest hurts. I have been having a tightness in my chest for about two weeks now. It really flares up when I have to deal with certain people. I am terrified I am going to have a heart attack. I am calling my doctor today to make an appointment. I am hoping it is just stress.

I am so angry and mad. I don't know what to do with all these feelings and where to put them. I can't stuff them down because that will only make me angrier. I am mad at the injustice in the world, at all the people that do wrong but never suffer for it. I have tried to do right my whole life and if I have ever screwed up or done somebody wrong it came back to bite me in the ass. Why is that? 

Anyway, I am not smoking cigarettes at the moment and I am trying to eat right and have begun exercising. I am taking baby steps....I have to be healthy and well so I can be here for my children. I took a walk yesterday and that helped calm me down a bit. My mp3 player is charged up and I downloaded some calming music on it so maybe that will help too.