Monday, December 28, 2015

Self Worth

What are you worth, to yourself?  So many of us appear as others want us to be; and may even put on a show for the world to see, pretending to be what the people around us want us to be.  We get into life's dialog's and routines, becoming robots to the day-to-day.

BUT... what is your opinion of yourself?  What are you worth?

I ran into an old friend that I haven't seen in a very long time today.  It was really good to see him, but after our talk I really wondered about his self worth; and I thought alot about mine as well.  Christmas was only a few days ago, so I decided to ask him how his went... and afterwards wished I hadn't (kinda).  I was shocked to learn that he recently was released from the hospital.  He had been there for 2 weeks after he had tried to commit suicide.

Normally, I have been told, I am able to give really good advice that helps people see their issue differently or help them look at things from a better outlook; but in that very moment, I was at a loss for words!!  All I could think to myself was, "WOW".

Finally, I found myself asking what in the world drove him to do something like that?  I mean, I just wanted to understand what drove him to the point that he thought this would be the best choice!?  He explained to me that he had lost his dad (they were extremely close) recently, he had lost his job, and he had no way to provide Christmas for his son.  Sadly, I know what it is like to be in his shoes, and it is hard... but that is not the answer!!

So, I asked him what about his son!?  Did he think about him when he was about to do this, and he replied... "Yes, but he would be taken care of because I have got in all my SS credits".   I was honestly shocked at this, but could see that he was just thinking about his son.  Before I could reply, he told me that his son, 15, would have money for food and clothes if he died".  This truly broke my heart!!

Finally, I felt I had to be real with him, as any friend should be!  Like I had always been in the past!  I looked at him and asked... "Do you want your son to feel like you do about losing your dad?"  "Would you rather be broke and have him by your side or have money because he's gone?" He looked at me, puzzled and at a lost for words.... and I said to him, "I know you feel like you're in a hole that you are never going to get out of, but you are all that your son has; and he would much rather have YOU than anything that money could buy!!"

After a little more chatter and a few smiles he thanked me for our talk.  I'm not real sure why he thanked me, but I do hope that he sees things differently; and doesn't try anything like that again.  Thank God that he wasn't successful because he is truly a great person and loved by so many!!

Self Worth can be tricky!  We get wrapped up in the stress of life (which I know personally, too well) and things cloud our perspective of things and our judgement of ourselves,We let others opinions of us become more than their opinions, and so on.

My friend, he explained how he had been focusing on the positive in his life as a part of his therapy; and I think this is the best thing for us all to do!!  Find ways to remind ourselves that there is always some positive no matter how bad the storm is that we are in at that moment!!

I think that having a positive outlook on things can also allow us to see our true self worth.  The things others that love and care about us see; and began to see it ourselves as well!!

* If You or Someone you love is dealing with these issues; please, talk to someone and seek help.