Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Flaws



I have come to the conclusion that I am seriously flawed. I have always known this deep down but I try to hide it. Don't we all? Whenever meeting new people or in the beginning of new relationships the best qualities possessed by a person are thrown to the forefront. As stated by Chris Rock "When you first start dating somebody, you ain't dating them, you are dating their representative, the person they wish they could be". I love that line because it is the truth!

Recently, I have begun dating again. Or should I say I have met someone. He is genuine, nice, honest and he seems to have a good heart. He really likes me too, which is scary. Why is it scary you ask? I didn't date for over a year waiting for my divorce to be final before I jumped back in the dating pool again. The dating scene has changed so much since I was in my twenties. I never had game anyway, so this is painfully new to me. There are dating apps on cell phones, websites, etc. Doesn't anyone meet through friends or at a social event anymore? Obviously not!!

This guy though, I am brutally honest with him and I haven't tried to hide my ugly at all. The first time I met him, I wore no makeup and had on old clothes because I was cleaning up my house that day. I stood in front of him and said "This is me, and this is what I really look like"! He seemed to appreciate my candor.  On our first date I introduced him to my kids briefly so that he could see that I am a Mother and if he wanted to run he could do so. I emphasize briefly because I did not want it to be a big to do. We were going out on a date and I invited him in and introduced him to them and eight minutes later we were leaving. 

I am taking my time getting to know him and I am very honest about what I want. Believe me, as an older, more sophisticated woman I have no qualms in asking for what I want anymore. I couldn't do that when I was in my early twenties. I always bent over backwards to please a man for fear that he would not like me anymore. Why do we as women do that? 

Anyway, he makes me laugh. It feels so good to laugh again at stupid stuff. I always joke with him about how flawed I am and how I try to be my authentic self with him. No watered down version, but my true self, flaws and all. I have the tendency to build up walls and not let anyone in and I have told him about that. I told him I pee in the shower too...lol.