A New Me: Learning to Love to Read

Today I stopped at the library with my aunt, she LOVES to read!!  While she searched for her books I was talking to the librarian about my daughter.

She was diagnosed with Dyslexia  last year after many years of struggling in school with reading; however, I believe there is an underlining issue that has not been discovered yet (BUT that's a post for another day).  She just turned 13, going into the 7th grade; yet, she's reading on  a 3rd grade level.  It is heartbreaking to watch the struggle and feel at a total failure in helping your child succeed as you would like.

I asked the librarian about books that would be on her level, age wise, that didn't have such huge words (which leave her feeling defeated).  The books on her reading level are for babies, she says, and get doesn't want to even try.

So, the librarian went on a search to help me...

She returns with this book (The Invention of  Hugo Cabret) that was HUGE, like 500+ pages!!   Really!?  I thought how can I tell her that the size alone will intimidate her, after she went and found something she believes is perfect!  She explained how the book was mostly pictures, a best seller, and good one for kids that struggle with reading.  After glancing through it, she's right, half the book was pictures!!

I don't like to read AT ALL; therefore, I probably don't push my daughter, as hard as I should, to sit down daily and read.  However, in my journey to becoming the New Me I want to be I plan to try harder to find things that will interest her where she learns to love reading as much as my aunt (hopefully).

I came home and searched the book trying to see what tactics I could use to make my daughter interested in reading this HUGE book & I came across the author talking about turning this book into an audio book.  Since the book IS mostly pictures, it was interesting to hear how exciting the process was & the analogy.   Check it out...

Cool, huh!!??  and the pictures... this person is truly talented!!!  ((I love to draw;, therefore, they stood out))

I also came across the trailer for a movie that was created, it looks to be a good movie as well.  Maybe once my daughter and I have completed the book we can see the movie!!!

It's exciting, kinda, the movie preview makes me wonder how the author explained this story in the book.  I'm excited in the hopeful feeling that my daughter will get hooked in the mystery and discover her love of reading.  

I'll let you know how it turns out....

Until then ~ Ginny

He asked for what!

With technology growing daily so is the risk of our children's safety!  We are letting strangers right into our home's, into their rooms.  They're glued to their phones as much as we allow them to be and we have no idea who may be lurking in the messages/sites on the other end; and sometimes who they believe they are talking to isn't at all who it may be.

No matter how many times we tell our children something, we always wonder if they are listening!?  Safety is a parents #1 priority when it comes to their kids, for MOST, I believe!

The thoughts are scary, but they are also the reality that we find ourselves in this day & time! Sadly!

My youngest daughter is 13 and she just got a smartphone.  Her first!  This is scary for me because there are so many crazy people in this world.  I trust my kids but I don't trust strangers!

The amount of times I've told my kids this, they say I sound like a broken record but I want to be sure they hear it!

Today she comes to me with a shocking details, she had some strange message out of the blue from someone on kik... when she told me the story I begin to freak!  The over protected momma bear wanted to roar!  BUT I wanted to get full story first!

She explained how this person, that she did not know, asked her to send them a picture!! 

1. Heart dropped.. 
2. Fear set in... I have told her the importance of never doing this so many times!  Did she hear me?!     "He wanted a picture of my private", she said!
3. He asked for what!!?? .... Omg... Decided to let her finish before going berserk!

She went on to tell me that she replied telling him, "He was Nasty"! and Blocked him! BUT she said she had forgotten to report him!  SO, she unblocked and reported him, but he actually sent a repeat message asking again before she was able to hit report and re-block!!

I WAS NEVER PROUDER... SHE HEARD ME!!!

All of that talk that I thought had went in one ear and out the other, didn't!!  I am so glad that I have tried my hardest to instill these things into my girls over the years; and that she didn't give in to something that could have resulted badly!!  

The internet is a wonderful thing, overall!  However, it can be used to do great harm & hurt people as well.  We have to teach our kids Safety about who could be lurking on the other end of that screen...

Keep talking, even when they seem to be annoyed & not listening because they DO HEAR US!!  Thank God!

They Grow up FAST!

This past weekend we had a Graduation Party for my daughter.  I planned & bought things for weeks in hopes that things would be perfect!!!  It really turned out great!!

My balloon display with her school colors turned out amazingly, I thought!   Sorry that picture is a little blurry...

However, I was a little bit disappointed with Walmart's Bakery on the cake...  It was wope-sided, icing wasn't what was ordered, wording ran into the banner, and it wasn't supposed to be yellow cake; but we made do!!

The PIG was GOOD!!!

I don't usually share pictures publicly of my girls/family on here because I'm paranoid lol.  So, this video probably won't stay public for long!!

However, for weeks I have been putting together pictures and home video clips to capture her life up til graduation to play at her graduation party that we had this weekend!  I thought it turned out well and wanted to let you all share my joy briefly..

(( SORRY VIDEO HAS BEEN REMOVED))

Kids grow up too fast!!  Seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms for the first time.  I can't wait to see what life has to offer her!!!  

#OnePROUDmomma 

Bigger Issues Should be the Focus

I've stirred clear of the whole Bathroom controversy that has been in the news for weeks months now, but I think it is going a little far!!!

Schools that receive funding now have to apply to the HB2 Bill or they won't get funding?  REALLY!!??  I think that instead of putting all of this push into something that limits to a handfull (if that many) of kids, who were more than likely already using the restroom of the gender they refer themselves to being, they should focus on EDUCATION!!!  We have bigger issues than bathrooms that should be addressed.

My child struggles in school, yet I don't see all of this attention being focused on helping the 100's (probably more like 1000's) of kids like her that are trying to get a proper education.  They don't even have even school books to be able to bring them home to study, and so parents can help them better understand what teachers don't have the time to do properly in the classroom!!

Not only does the issues that they choose to get fired up over, piss me off, but the fact that this allows some little boy who just wants to get a little peak in the girls locker room where one of my daughters may be... really makes my blood boil!!  How can these people not see that this issue could be so unsafe on so many levels!?

Don't get me wrong, I don't want kids that are transgender to feel left out of discriminated against; but how many school age kids are transgender?   I mean I believe very few and I honestly think that this should be decided when they are old enough to really understand the choices they are making anyways... just my personal opinion!

I mean when I was younger I was 100% Tom-Boy.  I did not like girly things, I wanted to ride my skateboard, jump ramps on my bike, build forts in the woods, and get dirty!!  I had more guy friends than girls and I loved it...  Today, if I were a kid doing these things I could be influenced that I wanted to be a boy; and make it happen!!  Just saying!!

North Carolina is getting a lot of heat because the Governor don't want to be forced to be apart of this law... businesses are taking money elsewhere, concerts & sporting events are being cancelled, and all types of other financial means that are needed in the State... and what for!?  Last time I checked there isn't anyone at the door of the restroom carding us to see what gender we were born!!!  I just think that this Country has BIGGER & MORE IMPORTANT issues that needs their focus!!

Sorry.. Rant over!!
~Ginny


*If you'd like to see the video of the ABC11 news broadcast about this threat to our school system's funds due to this HB2 bill, check it out at ... http://abc11.com/1336369/

A Revolution In The Autism Community

There is no "set" road in front of me when it comes to my son that is on the autism spectrum and his education. Most of the time I feel like I am failing him on a daily basis. Does anybody else feel that way? I am ready to start a revolution! Who is with me? 

There are great programs, great blogs and all kinds of free information on the internet regarding autism. Finding something that works for my child is frustrating. I cannot afford to put him in a private school, I cannot afford to home school him, I cannot afford to have him get lost in the public education school system. That is what is happening though. He is getting pushed ahead into the next grade when he hasn't really even grasped what was going on in the grade he was in. My son reads on a second grade level. What can I do to ensure his survival into adulthood if he is eleven years old but reads on a 7 year old level? 

I have contacted Autism Speaks and tried connecting with others but my attempts have failed there as well. What good is this organization that is for autistic children if the services that are offered or whatever reaches only the kids in certain counties in this state? I have reached out to the TEACCH organization, and I did get a phone call but the person just gave me more numbers or more research to do myself. I feel like he is slipping through the cracks of society and there isn't anything I can do about it. Do you know what I say to my son? I am very blunt with him. I look him in the eyes and tell him that there are four things you need to know how to do in this world and that's: Read, write, do math and make change because if someone can screw you over on your money they will. 

There are camps that autistic children can go to but once again these things aren't free. I DO NOT EXPECT THEM TO BE FREE. Sometimes I really want somebody to hand me a booklet with the ins and outs explained to me so I don't feel like I am banging my head against a wall! The services from these organizations reach the more wealthy counties in the state of North Carolina. I have seriously been thinking about moving to Wake County, North Carolina because of the different programs offered there. I shouldn't have to relocate my whole family to be able to be pointed in the right direction. What can I do? How do I start a revolution? How? Is there anybody out there that feels this way? What are the obstacles other parents are facing?
 

To Do: EVERYTHING

Seems like the past few weeks have been nothing but chaos!  Tons of things to do, to pay, and to keep track of for everyone else in my life. I'm the one who seems to get stuck handling it all!! I been so mentally drained lately that it appears to be draining my emotionally & physically as well.  I have heard this can happen!

Being stressed out makes me moody, big time!  I hate being stressed over everyday things and money, and it is really hard (even though I try) not to be stressed over the things that I can't change!  I feel sorry for my family (lol) I can be a real B*#@!

When I seen this picture it summed up my feelings lately of being over whelmed with keeping up with EVERYTHING! (lol)  My to-do-list is pages long.. so, it seems!

My mom is disabled and I take care of EVERYTHING for her, from her medication & doctor appointments to keeping track of blood sugars & what she spends.  It's like keeping track of another household along with my own.  I love her and don't mind taking care of the things that she isn't able to, but some things she could do for herself.

My JOB sucks, mostly because they have been messing with my money, which isn't cool AT ALL!!  A few months ago (July) they shorted my hours (as I explained in a previous post) and it still has not been fixed; and don't appear that it is going to be, unless I go to extreme measures to get it!  Since then I had to work less hours due to their mix-up for a few weeks and them I didn't get paid on time once, where I had to wait over a week to get it straight (10 days)... again, their mix-up!!   All of these mix-ups put me in a financial bind; and now my husbands work has slowed down sooner than it does which makes us depend on my paycheck even more.  I made choices that I now regret due to these financial issues, and all those choices have done is make things 10x more financially stressful on myself!!  Is there ever an end to money stress?!  Ughh

We'll get through it,m we always do... just got to hold onto one another and get by.. that's family, commitment, and love!

My daughters struggles with reading and other things weigh heavy on me.  I feel like it is my fault.  Maybe I didn't help/work with her enough when she was younger or something!  Could have done more?  She has such a hard time accomplishing her school tasks and I feel like a 6th grader all over again tackling hours of homework.  I just wish I could find a way to help her more!  I have searched high & low to find things that will GET HER ATTENTION and TEACH her all at the same time.... it's a struggle!!

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*Love this picture...

When I came across the picture above, I was looking for a cute graphic to share about Stress. Instead, I found this quote...

"If I live everyday the same way I did today, what kind of future would that create?" - Jesse Lear

However, the Blog Post that came with it hit even harder, giving some great advise to relieve stress.  It was targeted toward high school/college kids, but I think it would be great for me too!!  It hit the areas that I have been stressed on...

• Relaxing
• Feeling more relaxed & energetic
• Finances
• mental health
• organization
• and getting myself out there to meet people that I could potentially find a new job with.

All of this in a short, straight forward, and informational post that helped some things click. 

This really hit home today, for me! 

*You can check out the post at  http://www.societyfab.com/#!Hot-Topic-Thursday-Productivity-Hacks/cos2/550724ec0cf27b8ab2973e3a

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Stress can be overwhelming and getting a handle on it is the key.  I know I need to stop worrying about things that are out of my control, but I also gotta work on what I can!

Getting organized is something I really need to work on... So that's where I'll start at... for now!!

Parenting Fails

We all hear stories about someone who has made an epic parenting mistake. Take this picture up above.....The mother is wearing a shirt that states "I like it against the wall" which clearly has sexual innuendo and yet she seems oblivious to the negative connotation but whatever, to each his own.

Anyway, I have committed an epic parenting fail. I see where I went wrong in hindsight. My oldest son is 14 and very belligerent at times....he is a teenager. He has informed me of several decisions that he has made for his life. I am in support of them all, he is his own person. And this is where the judgment shall come. This is where you will see where I went wrong....now he does and says things for shock value sometimes but I don't know what to say to this. 

My son informed me he is an atheist. Giving him a spanking is not going to fix this, yelling and screaming is not going to work either. I am the worst Christian on the planet, church has been more of a revolving door for me through out my life. I have spurts where I go and then stop. I cannot argue someone down with scripture because I don't know it like I should. I have failed my son. I tell him, and I would tell anybody else the same, religion holds no logic that is why we have to have faith. What I am trying to say is that there are some things our puny brains cannot comprehend and I think God is one of them. There are things in this world we are not meant to understand. I do believe in Jesus Christ and I do believe he is my personal savior. What do I do? How do change someone's mind when it seems to be made up? All I can think to do is pray.

My childhood sucked. I had my butt beat on the regular by my stepmother. I was afraid of her and I respected her out of that fear. People say that children these days have no respect but I heard that when I was a child as well. Does this non-belief come from a place of disrespect? I wanted to raise my children different, I did not want them to fear me or be scared to come home like I was as a child. I was beat with switches, fly swatters, bed slats, whatever she could get her hands on in a fit of rage. She told me and my siblings we were nothing. I struggled for so many years even after I escaped to really believe that I was worth something. What have I done to my child for him to believe there is nothing after we die? If I make a big deal out of it, he could possibly make it his mission in life to torment me with this information. 

He has been hanging around two kids. One of the boys is a Christian and the other boy is an Atheist. That is awesome to me that he would be friends with two people that are totally opposite of each other. He didn't really start talking this mess until he was hanging around with the kid that doesn't believe. It is funny, kind of, I have told myself for years that it didn't matter what my children grew up to do, or what they believed in. I assumed we would be like minded.....news flash.....that's not gonna happen. Maybe this is just a phase or something. Maybe he is trying to push my buttons to get a rise out of me?! What am I as a parent to do? My best guess is to love him unconditionally! 

I haven't told his father yet. His father has it in his head that he wants him to be a preacher. That is not what my son wants at all. He is going to join the military as soon as he graduates high school. His dad is very religious and takes him to church ever Sunday morning and Sunday night. Anytime there are activities at the church he carries our son. His dad is a bit boderline obsessive with it but I can't fault anybody for their religion or lack there of. Maybe the problem is me and my intolerance?...Not sure. 

Minecraft & Autism

I am very exited to announce that Minecraft comes in lego form now. I noticed this a few days ago at Wal-Mart. I so know what my youngest is getting for Christmas now. He is getting Minecraft legos and a camcorder! 

Robert is amazing. He can build the coolest things out of legos, clay or pipe cleaners. Here is an example:

This is something he built out of legos a few days ago. Now granted, this isn't his best work, but I think it is amazing. It actually works too. 

I have been reading other blogs the past few days and Minecraft seems to be something that kids with autism like. I do realize that is a generalization so please forgive me if that statement offends. My son will sit for hours and watch youtube videos about Minecraft and will get upset if he is interrupted. He will talk very excitedly about the "mods" and what he would like to build and stuff. Sometimes I watch the videos with him. 

http://learningworksforkids.com/2015/04/7-reasons-kids-with-autism-love-minecraft-2/

Autism Spectrum Resources

Recently, I have found several online resources pertaining to the autism spectrum that I have found very helpful. Today, this will be my version of an informative post because yesterdays post was very successful. Thanks to everyone who shared and commented on it, I really appreciate it. 

When I first began to try and figure out autism I didn't know where to turn. The only experience I had with autism was knowing of kids that could not speak or do anything for themselves. So that is not really experience, it is a preconceived notion that I had in my mind about what autism was. I readily admit that sometimes I still struggle to understand autism and how it will affect my sons future. I admit that I think about his future a lot. 

Some of the first pages that I came across belonged to Kerri Stocks and Dave Angel. Here is a link for an interview of Kerri Stocks by Dave Angel. This resource is great to me, I get emails from Dave Angel everyday and I actually added Kerri Stocks on my Facebook.
http://parentingaspergerscommunity.com/kerristocksinterview.doc.pdf 

I also receive monthly updates from Connie Hammer. You can sign up for email updates if you like.
http://parentcoachingforautism.com/about/

Another great resource is understood.org. I am fairly new to this website so I am still learning to navigate it. You can sign up for a weekly news letter as well. 
https://www.understood.org/en

This next one is an actual blog on word press. This one is new to me also, so I am still navigating and reading on this. Very informative so far.
https://learningneverstops.wordpress.com/what-is-autism/

Here is an oldie but a goody...This website has loads of information about autism.
https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism 

Please everyone, let us take the time to research each website so we can all have a better understanding of what autism is. If anyone has seen any other resources please give me a shout so I may add them to the list. Thanks in advance.

Giving Kids Chores

 In my previous post  "I'm Under Construction" I listed a few things that I wanted to work on to become a better all around, NEW ME ...

• Getting Everyone Else Doing Chores to help lighten the load on myself
• Getting Out into the Work Field to Look Something in my Degree Field
• Loose Weight & Have More Confidence in Myself
• Be Healthy & Happy!
• etc

Some of these things have a domino affect..  I can't have free time to look work on my day off if I have to stay home and do housework & laundry all day; therefore, starting with getting everyone to help out is a great place to get started!!

To start working on this I looked for one of my old &  favorite websites, Goal For It; they have the coolest Chore Chart System for FREE, but I couldn't find it! UGH they must have closed down the site!!!

In my search I came across a post on Everyday Family called Goal For It: Teaching Kids Responsibility which referenced using Goal For It charts for chores & behavior.  However, it also described how much easier it was to get the family involved in doing chores & how much of a difference it made when their behavior was apart of a reward system as well...  This would be AWESOME!!!  My kids fight like they hate each other ALL the time!  After reading the article/post I hated that I couldn't find the Goal For It site even more, but knew chores and responsibilities had to be put into writing.

So, I searched Google to see what I could find to get some ideas and came across a printable system on Gael's Crafty Treasures.

The chart will work well for my youngest daughter, I believe!  It has the basic chores with addition ones that are helpful.

I really like the Rewards Charts and it will work perfectly with my youngest, I just need to tweek it a little for my teenager (lol).  

I really like how the Reading is added in and rewards are given.  She has been diagnosed with Dyslexia ; therefore, reading is EXTRA important at our house!  I plan to print and use these rewards even if I come across another chore chart that I like!

((Printable version : https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_64ZniBj-f-YTdIQnZaVktZY1k/view))

The STORE chart is also a great addition... 20 tickets a week are possible just on the Chore Chart without the extra rewards.  I think it's great to add small things that can be bought with them to have fun and make a child feel accomplished & rewarded for helping out and being responsible!! :)

Over-all, I think that I am off to a good start!!  I'm going to print these and get started tomorrow!!  I might have some irritable children the first week or two, but hopefully this will get me closer to my next challenge in my life by helping to free up the time I spend doing everyone's chores!  :)

I'm Under Construction but the foundation is being set!!

**Has your life been changed by adding chores and rewards in your family??  Tell us!!  If you have any idea's that could help me or someone else out; please, share them in the comments!!  

Have a Great Day!!!