GoodBye

Dear Bo, 

I'm sitting here, staring at a blank page on the computer. I want to write something really profound to you, so you understand how I feel today. Of course, you will never be sent this letter because I'm sure you don't care but I have to say this for my sanity.

Today is our divorce date, July 7, 2015. Today is the day I will officially let you go. I will try not to be sad anymore or think about what our life could have been like, what it should have been like.

You are getting remarried again in a couple of weeks, and guess what? You will think of me on your wedding day. It's only natural, after all, you have done this once before. You will be a little scared because your first marriage ended and you will wonder what the years have in store for your second. You don't know the answer to that, only time will tell what kind of marriage it will be. 

My greatest hope for you is that you learn to love yourself better so that you can truly love those around you. Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for.

Goodbye, 
JoAnne

I'm Under Construction

Life seems like it has been on a crazy spiral out of my control.  The hectic days that come with the kids being out of school, everyone wanting to take off somewhere to spend the night or have a friend over, wanting to accomplish things but not having the time to pursue them, needing to make desperate changes and not putting the effort forth to accomplish them..

... the list can go on and on ... and on!!!  

I say that I am going to do something, but I don't!!  This can be related to so many areas of my life these days. 

I used to be a stay-at-home-mom for about 10 + years;  and I probably did more for everyone than I should have done, if I am being honest!  Therefore, now it is really hard to enforce more chores to take some of the load off of me.  BUT they are getting better. :)

I graduated from college last year, but I haven't had the time to go out a really LOOK for a new job in my field... With only 1 day off a week, my house chores & errands take that quickly!  ((I know.. excuses/excuses))

I know I need to get healthy.. This would help me feel better physically and emotionally as well; and help me be a better person, mother, wife, employee, friend, etc!!  But I procrastinate and don't put forth the effort to see changes. 

SO... I'm Under Construction!!  

I want to work on every aspect of me possible, from the way I think about my self to my relationships with others!!  

I want to be inspired with life instead of dreading the day-in-day-out same old routine that I go about now.  Living life to the fullest and making my goals a reality, not just things that seem like fantasies in a far off distance!!!

It's time to have confidence in my abilities, not thinking that my thoughts, ideas, and skills are little things that no one appreciates.  Believing that there is something great waiting somewhere out there for me.. I just gotta get out of my own way and find it!!

We all are meant to accomplish great things and be the happiest we can be... Now it that time for me!!!

I have spent too much of life in the shadows, not reaching for what I want and can be, feeling unhealthy, and being afraid of failing.  

Time to give myself a lifestyle change... I'm Under Construction!  

Morning Thoughts

This morning as I sat out on the porch steps smoking my morning cigarette the birds were singing and making all types of noises.  I forgot how peaceful it was out that early in the morning in country and I really thought about some things that I needed to clear up and out of my mind.

The past few days I have been trying to "Think more Positive" and it has really seemed to make my days happier or less stressful, I should say! However, there are parts of my life that I need to work on, as I am sure everyone else could say as well.

• I thought about how these cigarettes need to go, but how hard they are to put down once you have become addicted!
• I thought about the ways that I could become a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, or just the person who walks by you in the store.
• I thought about how I would like to take time to pick up a pencil and draw something every once in a while, before my ability to create something diminishes even more than it has.
• I thought about ways that I could be a better house keeper.
• and I thought about how I could become healthier.

While I listened to the birds chirping, I thought about the different areas in my life that could improve, and I hope to incorporate them into my day one step at a time until I can be a new person in all aspects... A NEW ME! :)

What are the things that you would like to improve on or add into your life to bring happiness?  How would life be different for you if you made these changes?

Think about it all and make that change, become a NEW you!!

Positive Thinking: Day #4

It may not be your journey, but the quote still fits!!  No matter what journey we take if we never truly start, then we'll never finish!

So, whatever your journey is...  GET STARTED!!   :)

Hope you all have a successful day, we'd love to hear about your journey!!

Finding Me

It seems as though I am lost. I feel like a robot that does the same thing day-in and day-out, everyday!  I'm tired ALL of the time & don't know why.  I was told that "My job isn't that hard and my kids are old enough to do for themselves; therefore, I shouldn't be exhausted & forgetting things!!"  Really!! UGH

Yes, I admit that I don't have the most demanding job, but feeling like the maid, waiting on someone's EVERY want & need, and being stationary a lot of the day somehow has made me lazier!  AND Yes, my kids are old enough to do for themselves; however, I spoiled them when I stayed at home because I did a lot for them.  I think this has made it hard on them too.

I know... excuses/excuses..  but I really do feel emotionally drained and it has somehow affected me physically as well.  I know that changes need to be made, but that's so much easier said than done!

I have decisions that need to be made in order to accomplish the next steps in my life, but either way I turn there will be people who won't be pleased.. so, what do you do. Right!!??

I graduated with a bachelor's degree in IT with a web development focus a few months ago, but now I don't know what to do next.  It's sad to say, but I don't know what is available in my area or what companies to try to get on with.. and with one day off a week, I don't really have the time to adventure out and look.  I'm kinda scared, if I'm honest!  I have looked online and filled out applications there; so, it's not like I haven't done anything! :)  However, I could be doing better ... and I am creating a plan/goal for that TODAY!!

The challenge in this is that when I do find a new job I will have to leave my current one, and this means making a lot of people unhappy.  However, I have to look out for me and that's not something that comes easy for me.  I am a wife and a mom and I am used to putting every one else first, never focusing on my needs because I am always focused on what they all need instead; and as caregiver, this is my role at too!!

Lost with so many decisions to make and trying to be an accomplished, healthy, and happy woman is hard; but I'm going to find me!