Silence & Rage

I am in a state of rage. Let me explain.............................

As a good southern girl we are taught to swallow our anger. Do not get mad, act like a lady even if someone hurts you and smile in the faces of those who mean you harm. Reminds me of that song by Miranda Lambert, Mama's Broken Heart. Anyway....

The last piece of business between me and my ex-husband is child support. I didn't get anything in February because they had back taxes to pay, only $180.00 in March and nothing for the month of April. My ex always lets his new wife correspond with me and handle all his business when it should be him that deals with me because I did not lay down with her have our son, I laid down with him and had our son. Anyway, I have the text messages that prove she said they were dropping my payment down from $350 to $175 a month because they had bills to pay. Mind you, this is a fucking court order. Public service announcement:::::: In the state of North Carolina, if you have your legal separation incorporated into your divorce decree it becomes a court order when the Judge signs it. HELLO!!! Of course the legal separation papers have custody, child support and retirement all figured out, that is why I had it incorporated so I wouldn't get screwed over. If he wouldn't have been in such a hurry to get remarried and gotten a lawyer he would have known that. But he did not care at the time because he was to busy discarding us like we were garbage on the side of the road. 

In all honesty, I told them not to worry about February payment because I had my tax money because they were not going to pay me anyway. What was I going to say? THEY HAD ALL THE CONTROL! The money was not coming out of his pay-check, they were giving it to me when they felt like it and most of the time it was at the end of the month. I was having to call and ask when I was going to get the money. DO YOU KNOW HOW DEGRADING THAT IS??? So when I spoke with his wife in February and realized they were going to go down on my payment I went straight to the Department of Social Services because that is not fair. He told me today in Court that I was lying because I didn't blow up his phone, and I told him I didn't have to I went to DSS back in February!!

At Court today, he asked for a continuance to get a lawyer and I blew up at him and told him about himself. I really showed my ass and then I stormed out of court after the social worker told me my new court date. Then he has the balls to text me saying I was a liar, that he paid me and he was going to just get it taken out of his check because I was being so ugly to him and he has no idea why. REALLY!? You slept with another woman while we were married and it wasn't the first time, then when I asked you to leave you moved in with her and asked her to marry you right out the gate, then you proceed to slander me to anyone who will listen and you are practically forgetting about our son. He hasn't been to your house in 3 weeks and that is all you. Your new wife hates that you want him every weekend! EVEN THOUGH I REALLY DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE I WOULD NEVER KEEP OUR SON AWAY FROM YOU BECAUSE I AM NOT EVIL. I YELL THIS HERE BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN KEEP FROM GOING OFF THE DEEP END AND HURTING SOMEBODY. ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO DO RIGHT BY ME JUST ONCE MAN, JUST ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!